In the realm of parenting, the role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years. The days of the stoic protector are over. Now the expectations are shifting to a more emotionally stable and supportive father figure. Things that your father did may or may have not worked to your advantage, the real question is are what lessons did you learn? If you are here, then you are trying to figure out how to be the best dad that you can be. Here are some things about the importance of growing yourself personally so that you can be a better father.

My own journey with personal development didn’t really start until after my daughter was born. I was just the typical working dad, but I got to the point where I was not satisfied with how things were going for my family. We were scraping by financially and just letting life happen. I then started listening to podcasts and reading books about self-improvement. It helped me start to notice a difference in the way I thought and felt. Now it is a major part of my life and I want to help other dads build up themselves so that they can show up for their kids in ways they always wanted.

Emotional Intelligence

Personal development often involves the cultivation of emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions while also empathizing with the emotions of others. Fathers who invest time in developing their emotional intelligence can establish deeper connections with their children. This skill allows them to communicate more effectively, navigate conflicts, and create an environment where open and honest conversations can thrive.

Think back to when you were hurt, upset, or naughty as a child. Now how did your father respond? 

Was he angry and annoyed, or compassionate? The way your father figure responded to situations is likely how you are responding. You should ask yourself if that is the way you want to be. Being emotionally intelligent helps you recognize when you are angry or upset before taking any action or saying something that you may regret.

When approaching every interaction, try to give yourself a moment to analyze the situation before responding.

Setting an Example

Children learn a lot by observation, and fathers serve as powerful role models in their lives. When fathers prioritize personal development, they send a clear message to their children about the importance of continuous self-improvement. This sets a positive example, encouraging children to embrace their own personal growth journeys as they navigate the challenges of life.

Everything that kids experience growing up influences the decisions that they make later in life. If all they have seen is angry or stressed parents, they may start to make assumptions about how things are going to be for them. 

Society has portrayed fathers as a macho man that goes to work and comes home to watch sports with a beer in hand. Hollywood tends to treat dads as either strict and uncaring or a lovable goof that is always messing something up. How are we supposed be good role models for our kids, if our only examples of being a dad are outdated or exaggerated?

Take the time to acknowledge your shortcomings and analyze how you handle situations. This will give you the chance to make course corrections and ensure that you are the best influence you can be for your children.

Balancing Work and Family Life

In the pursuit of personal development, fathers can benefit greatly from working on time-management and prioritization of skills. These skills can be directly applied to striking a balance between work and family life. When fathers are mindful of their own personal growth, they are more likely to create space for family activities, be present during important moments, and foster a sense of security and stability within the household.

It’s easy to say “I didn’t have the time” but in most cases that is not true. It is just an excuse. Believe it or not, you choose how you spend your time. You may benefit from changing the phrase to “I didn’t Make the time”. 

Take a look at your average day.

8 hours for sleep (or as close as you can) this may include morning and nighttime routines.

9 hours for work (It’s never 9-5 anymore if account for lunch and not working overtime)

1 hour for commute to and from work (could be more or less)

That still leaves 6 hours left in the day that you can control. While there are things like chores and cooking that still need to be done, you can control the way they are done. Find the best way to get things done, so that you can make every day as fulfilling as possible. 

Strengthening Communication Skills

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Fathers who invest in developing their communication skills ensure that family members feel heard and understood. Clear and empathetic communication fosters an environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves and seeking guidance when needed.

Was there ever a time growing up where you were too scared to ask a question because you would feel stupid or like there would be backlash? You might still get that feeling now. The cliché of not asking for directions or for help is still quite alive. There is nothing shameful about asking for help on something you don’t know. 

You may also think that men don’t share their feelings or some other generic tough guy thing. While society may still think that we are just robots that are fueled by beer and football, men do feel things, it’s biology.

Adaptability and Resilience

Life is filled with uncertainties, and personal development equips fathers with the tools to navigate challenges with resilience and adaptability. By fostering a growth mindset, fathers can teach their children the importance of facing setbacks, learning from failures, and embracing change. This shared understanding can strengthen the family bond by creating a supportive and encouraging atmosphere.

Build your mental toolbox to be able to tackle any situation. You wouldn’t go out into the woods unprepared; life is no different.

Batman is one of the most popular comic book characters because he always has a plan and can make through every scenario. He always has a gadget or trick to survive, but he is just a guy. While very rich, he is still just a normal human (there is probably some debates about his super intelligence or agility). He spends all of his time training and strategizing when not fighting villains. 

We don’t need to take down super villains, but we can always have a plan or strategy to handle anything that comes our way.

Conclusion

Personal Development, especially in dads, is extremely important. We as fathers want to provide the best life for our children and the best way to start is to ensure that we have as solid foundation to stand from. Understanding ourselves and others, gives us the ability to guide our kids through this crazy world. As we build our toolbox or mental and emotional tools, we can pass them down, giving them a head start on their journey through life. 

Thank you for reading. If you have some insights, feedback, or questions please reach out. We are working to normalize good dads and build a place where they can learn.